Giving Myself an "A" for Effort (and Bravery)

Back in March, I was gearing up for a new exercise routine to help me take off the rest of the baby weight from my pregnancy with Elisa. I got a good deal on a 5 class exercise pass through City Deal (Groupon in the US), which I planned to use once we got back from our trip to California in April. Unfortunately, after my diagnosis in May and the subsequent surgery and chemotherapy, I didn't quite get around to taking those classes yet...

So now the pass is expiring on September 16, and I figured I'd better attempt to use it so I won't have wasted my money. On Thursday, I went to my first exercise class in months, and it was HORRENDOUS. I found myself among about 20 20-something women, all of whom were fairly petite and fit with push-up exercise tops and perfect hair and makeup. In comparison, I felt gargantuan, old, ugly and fat.

As if just looking physically out of my league wasn't bad enough, I couldn't even keep up with the class. I tried to look beyond that and give myself kudos just for showing up. (After all, I did have chemo just a week before.) However, I was totally uncoordinated and painfully aware of just how out of shape I've gotten over the last few months. The Russian ballerina instructor with the attitude of a Marine Corps drill instructor didn't help matters. I left the class thoroughly deflated and in tears.

On Friday, I decided that, if I ever want to get back in shape (and use up my pass before it expires), I'd have to give it another go. Although I didn't get any younger or more fit overnight, the second class went significantly better. For one thing, there were only 7 women this time. They were all still younger and more fit, but at least a couple of them were equally uncoordinated. The instructor was also very kind and patient with everyone so I managed to keep up and actually get a good workout.

So, after all that, I figure I deserve an "A" for Effort and one for Bravery as well. Hopefully I'm now over the biggest hurdle- just getting back into the game. It's still going to be challenging both to my self-esteem and my body, but, if I can overcome cancer, surely I can conquer this!